Bastcitfon is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent human.

Bastcitfon created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastcitfon, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bastcitfon, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bastcitfon's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Bastcitfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not bounce in public.