Fodkartarp is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, benevolent dryad.

Fodkartarp created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Fodkartarp, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fodkartarp, it will turn you into a goat.

Fodkartarp's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Fodkartarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to manatees while wearing brown dresses.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Fodkartarp on top of all buildings.

4. Retreat if eight gulls approach from the south.

5. Never go into white rooms.