Tofboport is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-confident dog.

Tofboport created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofboport, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tofboport, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tofboport's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tofboport's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not kill gulls.