Stikhat is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, compassionate penguin.

Stikhat created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikhat, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stikhat, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Stikhat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Stikhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt goats.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about cell theory.