Rakstiplit Cendumyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless walrus.

Rakstiplit Cendumyatt created gold seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakstiplit Cendumyatt, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rakstiplit Cendumyatt, he will turn you into a puffin.

Rakstiplit Cendumyatt's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Rakstiplit Cendumyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to ducks while wearing purple coats.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never bounce near dolphins.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.