Sterdonved is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, kind troll.

Sterdonved created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterdonved, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sterdonved, he will destroy your favourite star.

Sterdonved's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sterdonved's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Sterdonved loves horses, so they must be respected.

3. You must pray to Sterdonved nine times a day.

4. Sterdonved loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Never pour water over plants.