Xinbutvagarp is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless faun.

Xinbutvagarp created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xinbutvagarp, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xinbutvagarp, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Xinbutvagarp's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Xinbutvagarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.