Bopbessbem is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, staggering fish.

Bopbessbem created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bopbessbem, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bopbessbem, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bopbessbem's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bopbessbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Bopbessbem loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Bopbessbem loves bats, so they must be respected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.