Gembastflig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, fast dugong.

Gembastflig created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gembastflig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gembastflig, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gembastflig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gembastflig's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never feed beans to goats while wearing indigo tights.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gembastflig.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Gembastflig on top of all buildings.