Jonfagwap is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish jackal.

Jonfagwap created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonfagwap, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jonfagwap, it will turn you into a sheep.

Jonfagwap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Jonfagwap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never mention sheep.

4. Erect three platinum sculptures of Jonfagwap on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.