Fadquagwig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, calm swallow.

Fadquagwig created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadquagwig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fadquagwig, she will turn you into a snail.

Fadquagwig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fadquagwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never skip near gulls.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.