Yokcabbaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient swallow.

Yokcabbaf created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Yokcabbaf, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yokcabbaf, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Yokcabbaf's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yokcabbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt swans.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yokcabbaf.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.