Lakcarpanquart is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful squirrel.

Lakcarpanquart created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakcarpanquart, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lakcarpanquart, he will turn you into a sheep.

Lakcarpanquart's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Lakcarpanquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never eat onions.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.