Danortsad Yakbasshiv is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, able spider.

Danortsad Yakbasshiv created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danortsad Yakbasshiv, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Danortsad Yakbasshiv, it will try to impress you with trees.

Danortsad Yakbasshiv's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Danortsad Yakbasshiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.