Genmisquat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered dove.

Genmisquat created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Genmisquat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Genmisquat, she will turn you into a frog.

Genmisquat's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Genmisquat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Genmisquat.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide from yellow whales for they are unholy.