Yarptargut is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, blissful mole.

Yarptargut created the Whirlpool Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptargut, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarptargut, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Yarptargut's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yarptargut's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yarptargut.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Never eat green fruit.