Vilsaktarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient meerkat.

Vilsaktarp created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Vilsaktarp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vilsaktarp, she will torture you forever.

Vilsaktarp's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Vilsaktarp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not hurt foxes.

3. Never feed strawberries to porpoises while wearing gray scarves.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vilsaktarp.