Arpcepnig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional whale.

Arpcepnig created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpcepnig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arpcepnig, she will refuse to believe in you.

Arpcepnig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Arpcepnig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide if seven aardvarks approach from the west.

5. Never play with disobedient children.