Row is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome donkey.

Row created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Row, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Row, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Row's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Row's Holy Commandments

1. Put Row first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Always stare at clouds.