Bagtipteen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful wolf.

Bagtipteen created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagtipteen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bagtipteen, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bagtipteen's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Bagtipteen's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Never write about gravity.