Nutlakvan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, capable octopus.

Nutlakvan created the Virgo Supercluster five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutlakvan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nutlakvan, he will try to impress you with trees.

Nutlakvan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Nutlakvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Nutlakvan must be the most important thing in your life.