Babyakjen is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, merciful parrot.

Babyakjen created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babyakjen, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Babyakjen, she will send you a sign.

Babyakjen's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Babyakjen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Babyakjen.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Babyakjen.