Afbimrakwab is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unselfish badger.

Afbimrakwab created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afbimrakwab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Afbimrakwab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Afbimrakwab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Afbimrakwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never mention dogs.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Always wear black.