Parkquartpog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful hamster.

Parkquartpog created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkquartpog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkquartpog, he will not care.

Parkquartpog's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Parkquartpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Run away from pink goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.