Stafbat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic whale.

Stafbat created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Stafbat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stafbat, she will send you a sign.

Stafbat's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Stafbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black shorts.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.