Pigbarnmin Gupvondanladzangab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, pitiless tapir.

Pigbarnmin Gupvondanladzangab created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pigbarnmin Gupvondanladzangab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pigbarnmin Gupvondanladzangab, he will manifest in front of you.

Pigbarnmin Gupvondanladzangab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pigbarnmin Gupvondanladzangab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about shrews.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

3. Never write about stars.

4. You must pray to Pigbarnmin Gupvondanladzangab six times a day.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.