Quaghubabstantad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent scorpion.

Quaghubabstantad created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaghubabstantad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quaghubabstantad, he will be mildly annoyed.

Quaghubabstantad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Quaghubabstantad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Quaghubabstantad loves moths, so they must be respected.

3. You must pray to Quaghubabstantad eight times a day.

4. Never paint your head turquoise.

5. Do not shave your feet.