Zagnaksag is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust lion.

Zagnaksag created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagnaksag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zagnaksag, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zagnaksag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Zagnaksag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Hide from magenta badgers for they are unholy.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Zagnaksag on top of all buildings.

5. Run away if three snails approach from the north.