Minmidvon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, boastful shrew.

Minmidvon created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minmidvon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Minmidvon, he will boil you in a big pot.

Minmidvon's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Minmidvon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Minmidvon.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.