Cissbemgod Cepfonfod is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent octopus.

Cissbemgod Cepfonfod created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissbemgod Cepfonfod, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cissbemgod Cepfonfod, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cissbemgod Cepfonfod's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cissbemgod Cepfonfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.