Vonkdibwat is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, emotional hyena.

Vonkdibwat created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdibwat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vonkdibwat, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vonkdibwat's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Vonkdibwat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Vonkdibwat on top of all buildings.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never feed limes to pigs while wearing indigo dresses.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look at nebulae.