Monbastril is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ruthless raccoon.

Monbastril created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Monbastril, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Monbastril, she will turn you into a rat.

Monbastril's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Monbastril's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never mention pigs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always take life seriously.