Yamtonkbass is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, sage pig.

Yamtonkbass created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamtonkbass, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamtonkbass, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yamtonkbass' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Yamtonkbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not speak about lemons.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.