Handamnan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, generous seal.

Handamnan created an atom twelve years ago.

If you believe in Handamnan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Handamnan, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Handamnan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Handamnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect nine iron sculptures of Handamnan on top of important buildings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.