Bessquillboss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, confident porpoise.

Bessquillboss created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessquillboss, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bessquillboss, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bessquillboss' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bessquillboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Feed all hungry gulls.

3. Bessquillboss loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never play with disobedient children.