Pagfedtail Bonditzan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, quiet crocodile.

Pagfedtail Bonditzan created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagfedtail Bonditzan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pagfedtail Bonditzan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pagfedtail Bonditzan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Pagfedtail Bonditzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Pagfedtail Bonditzan loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

4. Run away if four turtles approach from the west.

5. Never write about cell theory.