Stafpodsat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, selfish troll.

Stafpodsat created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafpodsat, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafpodsat, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stafpodsat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Stafpodsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stafpodsat.

3. Always help eagles in need.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always help great tits.