Wadwitjig Gamzakcet is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome seal.

Wadwitjig Gamzakcet created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadwitjig Gamzakcet, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadwitjig Gamzakcet, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wadwitjig Gamzakcet's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Wadwitjig Gamzakcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never hurt mice.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not listen to music.