Fenrowgad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome lobster.

Fenrowgad created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenrowgad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fenrowgad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fenrowgad's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Fenrowgad's Holy Commandments

1. Fenrowgad loves seals, so they must be honoured.

2. You must pray to Fenrowgad nine times a day.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never laugh in the presence of turtles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.