Citquatquagveddonlamvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, blissful goblin.

Citquatquagveddonlamvonk created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citquatquagveddonlamvonk, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Citquatquagveddonlamvonk, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Citquatquagveddonlamvonk's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Citquatquagveddonlamvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Never talk about black holes.