Dimfubzen Fetgannad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless wyrm.

Dimfubzen Fetgannad created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfubzen Fetgannad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dimfubzen Fetgannad, he will think nothing of it.

Dimfubzen Fetgannad's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dimfubzen Fetgannad's Holy Commandments

1. Dimfubzen Fetgannad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never wear black skirts.

5. Always help dogs.