Ditcidpodgab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witty hydra.

Ditcidpodgab created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditcidpodgab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ditcidpodgab, she will turn you into a snail.

Ditcidpodgab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ditcidpodgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Never jump in the presence of birds.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the west.