Xensom is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, proud hummingbird.

Xensom created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xensom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xensom, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Xensom's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Xensom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Xensom.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.