Wodmithig Cisspomcem is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, thoughtless parrot.

Wodmithig Cisspomcem created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodmithig Cisspomcem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wodmithig Cisspomcem, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Wodmithig Cisspomcem's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Wodmithig Cisspomcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wodmithig Cisspomcem.

4. Do not speak about bread.

5. Pray towards the north.