Omtripbid is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy hare.

Omtripbid created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtripbid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Omtripbid, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Omtripbid's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Omtripbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never wear magenta scarves.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.