Vonbasslap Xucnibjon is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, wise capybara.

Vonbasslap Xucnibjon created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbasslap Xucnibjon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vonbasslap Xucnibjon, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vonbasslap Xucnibjon's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Vonbasslap Xucnibjon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple badgers for they are unholy.

2. Never feed bread to sharks while wearing pink skirts.

3. Run away if five mites approach from the south.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always stare at clouds.