Ripcebjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish aardvark.

Ripcebjarn created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripcebjarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ripcebjarn, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ripcebjarn's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Ripcebjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Worship no other gods but Ripcebjarn.

3. Always obey Ripcebjarn's priests.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Never hurt otters.