Fonbamort is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, impressive tortoise.

Fonbamort created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbamort, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fonbamort, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fonbamort's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fonbamort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.