Saslarnbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, intelligent chicken.

Saslarnbonk created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Saslarnbonk, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Saslarnbonk, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Saslarnbonk's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Saslarnbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Saslarnbonk.