Wotnakvog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, wise tortoise.

Wotnakvog created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotnakvog, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wotnakvog, he will strike you with lightening.

Wotnakvog's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Wotnakvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never bounce in the presence of voles.

3. Always treat turtles with great respect.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Always look after injured pigs.